• Re-read all of Sarah Dessen’s books
• Get a new hair color and style
• Get tan
• Drink at least once a week
• Get a job
• Get a tattoo
• Get my upper ear pierced
• Mark at least five things off my bucket list
• Go see Amy in South Carolina
• Start a savings account and start putting back some money here and there
• Rewatch all of One Tree Hill Season 1-9 in order
• Read all Nicholas Sparks books that I haven’t read yet
• Take at least 200 pictures
• Start writing again
• Make at least ten new friends, at least five of which I can hang out with and trust
• Make a decision about Fall Rush or not

Due to recent events, I’ve felt myself really disliking a particular race. That’s not okay with me. It really isn’t. Yall have heard me go on and on about racism and how much I hate it and that wasn’t a lie. Really, it’s not. I believe we are all equal, or at least have the opportunity to be. We have the same anatomy inside. We feel the same emotions. We face the same issues. We live in this same world. And I don’t believe that a skin color should determine how someone is treated. But I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say this…I can understand why people are racist. I don’t support it. I try every day not to be. I’m not defending it. But I understand it. For some, that is just how they were raised. I was like that for a good portion of my life in some ways. For others, it’s ignorance. And then there are the people in my situation right now who really don’t want to think that way and try not to and have friends of all kinds and struggle with this all the time because they want to be a good person but still end up having racist thoughts. I can’t speak for everyone…just me.

For me, my issue is with people who seriously just act like fools. The word “rachet” comes to mind, though I know even using that word in my vocabulary is a little rachet of me. Loud, obnoxious, rude, inconsiderate, think the world owes them something, acting and lookin trashy kind of people. And white people act that way too. I know that. But those are the people that just really piss me off lately. So I guess I’m not having racist thoughts. I’m just annoyed with a certain TYPE, not race, of people. Yeah, some of that is a stereotype for black people and by saying all this, I’m sure someone is going to think I’m being racist. But this is 2012. Blacks can vote, walk wherever they want, go wherever they want, say what they want, drink from a water fountain of their choosing, use whatever bathroom they want, and even be the freaking President of the United States. And all the stereotypes that people of other races, specifically white people, have about blacks are mostly there for a reason. When you make a choice to FIT the stereotype, don’t get pissed that we stereotype you. People get scared around black thugs because guess what? Most the killers/thieves/etc they see in the news ARE black thugs. Or Mexicans. Or whatever it is that they are scared of and around a lot. That is not my fault. It’s not my fault when you act a certain way that makes people dislike you. It’s not my fault that my grandma mistreated your grandma back during segregation. This is the present. You have equal opportunities (if not more, since there are so many programs still around “making up” for what our ancestors did a long time ago) as us. You have the choice to wake up every day and be a good citizen, go to school, get a job, pay taxes, make money, support yourself and your family, teach your kids that everyone is equal, and be whoever in the world you want to be, just like me. I know this because there are black people who are classy, successful, speak properly, educated, and good, distinguished citizens. I’ve met them. So let’s please get over this whole acting trashy, acting like we all owe you for something that happened when neither of us were even alive or thought of, and just live in this world together. Please.

Also, racism goes both ways. Where I live and go to school, I’m well on my way to being a minority. I feel judged for being white all the time. And it seriously pisses me off when racist blacks act like whites are the only ones being racist. Uh, no. So stop that.

To anyone reading this that is black or of another race or whatever and you aren’t like these “rachet”, ignorant people, please don’t take offense to this. I’m not upset with all blacks or all other races…I’m upset with these type of people. Some of which are white like me. And I’m mostly just venting so try not to take it really personally.

Does anyone have the stills with the quote or a gif of when Clay picks up Quinn’s camera and says “This will save you”, then picks up the gun and says “This won’t”? Anyone? Please?

The next morning is awkward. Very.

I know it sounds ridiculous to get a tattoo for a TV show but I really do want something OTH related. I mean, not just for the show. But for all the things that show represents…all the reminders in every episode to be yourself and love unconditionally and always believe in something and to live in the moment and learn from your mistakes…all of those are timeless themes and lessons that are learned day in and day out. That’s what that show is to me.

I thought about getting the 23 like Haley got, but not as a tramp stamp (probably on my side or somewhere kind of hidden). That one number represents the show in itself and would be simple and inexpensive and small. I also thought about some lyrics from I Don’t Wanna Be or the “This is the place where everything’s better and everything’s safe” thing. Or a tree on a hill. I don’t know…I’ve been brainstorming. What do you fans think?

haaardtofind:

”Love is love. No matter your faith, race, sexual orientation, size, shape, or socioeconomic background. Maybe I feel that so strongly because I grew up on classic fairy tales. But I also grew up in karate classes, riding horses, and on the general notion that women kick ass; we can be our own…

Do any of you fans have tattoos that are One Tree Hill related?

I miss my best friend so much right now. I haven’t seen her in 11 months. That is seriously just weird to even type/think/say. She got married in October of our senior year and moved to South Carolina over Christmas break of our senior year (finished school early). Then my dad died and I had to move to Mississippi. I saw her last May for a couple days when I went to visit home and she was about to leave. This past fall she told me she was pregnant and other than her husband and coworkers and boss, I was the only one that knew. She wanted to keep it a secret until she went home for Christmas and told her parents in person. And she’s having a daughter in June. She’s going home this week and her mom is throwing her a baby shower with everyone from home. I wish I could be there so much. Just like I wish I could be there when she gives birth this summer. I mean, it’s my best friend. I’ve known her since we were 3 and we’ve been close since fourth/fifth grade. We’ve been through so much together and never getting to see her pregnant and not being there to help her get ready for this and when she welcomes her daughter into the world…that’s not okay with me. But I can’t do anything. I don’t have any money and I have school to go to right now and I’m ten hours from her, whether she’s in SC or Oklahoma. I really do honestly believe we’ll stay friends. But it’s not like it used to be. It can’t be. We talk on the phone every few weeks but other than that, our friendship is only made up of memories and hopes and wishes of reuniting which I really do hope happens but I don’t know if it will. And my two other best friends are still in Oklahoma. I can’t remember the last time I talked to one of them. The other one I talk to a lot and she came to visit here over Spring Break. But still… I miss them all. I miss having best friends around to hang out with and stay up all night watching movies and talking. To skip class with. To go on adventures with. To just hang out with. My friends here aren’t like that. And if they ever want to be, they’ve got about 9 years to make up for. It sucks not having true, real friends that aren’t ten hours away. It sucks missing everything.